I have learned I need to set boundaries on social media. This may come off as rude, but it is to keep myself safe and to keep my attention focused on my work. These are my own thoughts. I am interested in hearing other opinions and thoughts in the comments, but I will not participate in any debates.
I have never used Social Media for dating purposes. In the past, I have used dating apps specifically for that purpose. I use social media to make new friends and nowadays, I use it to network for my business.
I also work on my own business at home during the day and sometimes in the evening. This work often involves creating posts for social media; most often Facebook, but Twitter and Instagram too. So though, I am often seen online, I am also busy working.
Before I had my business, I really only added friends that I knew in real life (IRL) Since starting my business though, I have added many people I don’t know IRL, particularly, if they are either a part of the sex educator community or the disability community.
I have noticed when I add new friends, I get a lot of generic “Hi” or “How are you” private messages. I’d like to think some of them are well-meaning texts from folx just trying to be friendly. Unfortunately, there have been too many times where I have answered these texts and then it quickly becomes someone flirting and/or asking me inappropriate questions. I typically do not respond to these. I have two reasons. First, to protect myself from someone being inappropriate. Second, to protect my time and stay focused on my work.
I wish there were a way to warn folx that just because I add you as a Facebook friend doesn’t mean I want to chat with you in messenger. I don’t have the time and honestly, I don’t have the interest, when 95% of the time, it is someone trying to flirt with me. I am not looking for a hookup on social media.
Even worse, some people will continue messaging me when they don’t get a response from me. When I see this behavior, I will delete them as a friend. That is a red flag for me. If they become belligerent because they expect a response back, they will be blocked.
On the other hand, there are new folx I add that I genuinely want to connect to. I have many friends on social media that I have never met IRL. We follow each other’s lives by following each other’s posts and getting to know one another slowly over time. This is how I prefer to get to know people.
Please understand, my health and my work is my priority. I am an introvert so I have limited spoons to be online and limited spoons to socialize. I prefer socializing in person to online.
To my new friends on any social media platform, I would love to connect and get to know you over time. If you have a direct question or comment, please feel free to message me. Be aware, I am much more likely to respond to something direct than something generic. If you message me with “Hi” or “How are you”, I am sorry but you won’t hear back from me unless I know you or we have some connection.
Please understand, also, that if I do respond, it will likely not be right away. I may respond to you later in the day, or even a few days later. Give me time to finish what I am doing and get back to you at a more convenient time. If you can be respectful of that, hopefully we can be build a friendship over social media.