I am Thankful Today and Everyday!

2020 has been quite a year, but I still have many things to be grateful for. I share my list below. Happy Thanksgiving everyone! What are you thankful for today?

  1. My Health
  2. My Partner/Sir who loves me, protects me and brings humor to my life.
  3. My cats who make me smile every day.
  4. Friends who are my chosen family including those we have spent socially distanced picnics with this year.
  5. Technology to stay connected. We are having Thanksgiving virtually today with our families.
  6. The opportunity to cook my first Thanksgiving Day Turkey today.
  7. My 12-step programs which bring me healthier coping mechanisms and help me stay focused on today.
  8. I got a power wheelchair so I can have less pain from walking and more freedom.
  9. My growing relationship with my little brother in our adult lives.
  10. The ability to do create content from home and do something I am passionate about.
  11. A comfortable home to quarantine in.
  12. All of you who have followed and supported my goals!

Communication Do’s and Don’ts

In Episode 15 of DISIRabilityALT, I thought we could talk about some Communication Do’s and Don’ts when it comes to alternative lifestyles. We are going to talk about Do’s and Don’t’s from the beginning of messaging someone on social media, to negotiating a BDSM scene, to entering a D/s relationship and lastly how to handle a D/s breakup. The question I ask you this week is “What communication Do’s and Don’ts would you recommend? What did I leave out?” Please share your thoughts with me. Feel free to comment on this post.

Episode Cover Description [DISIRability logo in green with a wheelchair symbol in place of the letter b. “ALT” written in black underneath. In a light brown background, there is the following text “Episode 15 Communication Do’s and Don’ts” Underneath is a photo of a Do and Don’ts checklist with lightbulbs surrounding it. The text “with angela car (she/her) 18+ is on the left]

Full transcript of this episode is also available.


©DISIRability, Angela Car 2020

My Diaper is Not Sexy, but I Still Am

In episode 14 of DISIRabilityALT, I start off by talking openly about my feelings around being a disabled woman who has to wear adult diapers due to neurogenic bladder and bowel. Then we will focus on the topic of disability fetishes, devoteeism and disability. I will share my thoughts and feelings on fetishes and devotees and hope you will share your thoughts about them with me.

At the end of every episode, I will be asking a question for you to consider. Today’s question is: How do you feel about disability fetishes? Have you come across people with this fetish or have you come across devotees? Are you comfortable with being around people who have this particular fetish? Please share in the comments section below.

Episode Cover Description [DISIRability logo in green with a wheelchair symbol in place of the letter b. “ALT” written in black underneath. In a light orange background, there is the following text in white letters “My Diaper is Not Sexy, but I Still Am” Underneath is a photo of a pink pair of panties next to a diaper in a dark blue background. Underneath is the text “with angela car (she/her) 18+.]

Full transcription of each episode is also available.

Visit: https://disirabilityalt.castos.com/episodes/episode-14-my-diaper-is-not-sexy-but-i-still-am for this episode.

Let’s Talk Books: “Kneeling in Spirit, Disabled Submissives”

A new series on the DISIRabilityALT podcast has just been published called “Let’s talk Books!” These can be books on BDSM. These can be books on sexuality. These could be books on disability. Today’s book is going to be about all three.

In this episode, I am going to discuss my favorite book on this subject. I’ve mentioned this book a few times on this show already. It is called “Kneeling in Spirit.  Disabled Submissives” and it is edited by Raven Kaldera. Raven Kaldera has authored 42 books on many topics including M/s and Power Exchange, Spirituality and Disabilities. Links are below for Raven’s author page on Amazon and his disability focused books through Alfred Press. 

Amazon link for Raven Kaldera: https://www.amazon.com/s?i=digital-text&rh=p_27%3ARaven+Kaldera&s=relevancerank&text=Raven+Kaldera&ref=dp_byline_sr_ebooks_1

 https://alfredpress.com/category/disability/

Episode Cover Description [DISIRability logo in green with a wheelchair symbol in place of the letter b. “ALT” written in black underneath. In a blue background on the left, there is the following text in white letters “Let’s Talk Books “Kneeling in Spirit, Disabled Submissives”. On the right, there is a photo of Angela sitting in a red chair reading with a purple background, with her face covered by the book cover of Kneeling in Spirit, Disabled Submissives.]

Full transcript of this episode is available. Listen to this episode and/or read the transcript at the link below.

https://disirabilityalt.castos.com/player/260206

©DISIRability, Angela Car 2020

Are Kinky People Mentally Ill? Episode 12 of DISIRability ALT

In Episode 12 of DISIRabilityALT, I discuss mental health and alternative relationships, particularly talking about kink, polyamory and mental health.  I share some of the history and changes made by the American Psychological Association regarding BDSM. I will also share my thoughts and experiences around my own mental health with you and how kink and my power exchange dynamic have actually helped improve my mental health.

Episode Cover Description [DISIRability logo in green with a wheelchair symbol in place of the letter b. “ALT” written in black underneath. In a purple/blue background, there is the following text in white letters “Episode 12. Are Kinky People Mentally Ill, Angela Car, 18+”. On the right, there is a photo of a few eggs in a dish with faces painted on them showing different emotions, smiling, sad, angry, confused.]

Full Transcription of the Podcast is also available!

Love Abilities Festival

Episode 11 available now. Coming Out Kinky with Medical Professionals

In Episode 11 of DISIRabilityALT, we’re going to focus on Coming Out Kinky with Medical Professionals. We’re going to discuss the following questions. Why do we want to come out with Medical Professionals? Which Medical Professionals do we want to come out to? What are our fears or concerns about coming out? How do we go about coming out? And then what happens next? Dealing with the aftermath or what happens after we come out to our Medical Professionals. I will share my experiences of coming out with Medical Professionals with you. Please share your thoughts about this topic with me by visiting http://www.DISIRability.com.

Episode Cover Image: [DISIRability logo in green with a wheelchair symbol in place of the letter b. “ALT” written in black underneath. In a red background, there is the following text in white letters “Episode 11. Coming Out Kinky with Medical Professionals”. On the right, there is a photo of  two hands holding a EKG graph with a heart in the middle. Underneath is the 18+ symbol and text, Angela Car (she/her]

© DiSIRability, Angela Car 2020

A letter to myself as a little girl

(Trigger Warning: child abuse)

X

X

X

This is often an assignment for those of us in therapy or in 12-step programs. I was given this assignment from my Sir and I am grateful for it. Here is my letter to the little girl inside of me.

You will be okay. You will get through this. It will leave its scars, but you will get through. I know you sit and watch the clock ticking every minute when it is just about 1:00am and you pray for daylight. Get some sleep. Daytime will come and then you can escape to school.  “C” (Your Caretaker) is strong enough for the both of you. They will be okay too.

I know that you strive to be the best you can because you do not think you are worthy of love otherwise. You need to stop. You need to take care of yourself. You need to learn that sometimes you will fail and that is okay too. Failing at something does not mean that you are a failure. Do not believe things that “A” (Your Abuser) tries to put in your head.

There are people out there who will try to make you as miserable as they are. Do not go down to their level. “A” (Your Abuser) in one of them. I know part of why you work so hard is so that you do not become like them. You never will. No matter what life throws at you, you will remain the kind, decent, smiling girl you are now.

I know you have difficulty making friends. This will change one day. You may not believe it now, but one day you will meet a partner who will help you grow, will love you unconditionally, and will keep you safe. He will help you to come out of your shell, and help you make friends. Those friends will become your chosen family.

I wish I could tell you not to be scared, but the truth is, the world is a scary place. You, the scared little girl, will always be with me. I have come to accept that. Most of the time, it is a good thing. You make me think things through. You keep me from doing careless, dangerous things. I wish you could be free of the fear and be free to have fun and enjoy being a little girl.

Since you couldn’t, I will honor you now as I am grown. I will continue to care for you, by continuing to learn, to grow and to have fun in the rest of my life.

You’re disabled. You must be an angel.

At the end of every episode of DISIRabilityALT, I’ll be posting a question for you to consider.

In episode 10, I chat with comedian and disabled anti-hero Amin Lakhani (He/Him). Amin described how society tends to look at those of us with disabilities as if we’re angels and can do no wrong. How have you experienced this phenomenon? I know I have. I have experienced it when I became sexual active. I experienced it when I got a tattoo, and I experienced it when I came out as kinky.

Have you experienced that in the kink world as well as the vanilla world? I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences around this topic. Go to DISIRabilityALT.com, that’s D I S I R ability.com and share your thoughts with me.

You can follow DISIRabilityALT on Apple podcasts, Google podcasts, Spotify and Stitcher.

Image description: [DISIRability logo in green with a wheelchair symbol in place of the letter b. “ALT” written in black underneath. In a dark green background, there is the following text in white letters “Have people ever treated you like “you must be an angel” and you can do no wrong just because you have a disability? with angela car, (she/her), 18+”]

A Chat with Amin Lakhani (He/Him) Comedian and Disabled Anti-Hero. Episode 10 of DISIRabilityALT

In this episode, I had a great discussion with Amin Lakhani (He/Him). Amin is a comedian, writer, and disabled anti-hero. He was born with a neuromuscular condition called Charcot-Marie-Tooth syndrome, which causes his muscles to atrophy. He has used a power chair since the age of 15. He gained internet notoriety as The Dating Coach on Wheels. He now shares his life lessons & dark humor online, on podcasts and other places. He also mentions the movie “Secretary” from 2002 directed by Steven Shainberg and written by Erin Cressida Wilson, which is a must see for anyone interested in BDSM!

Amin can be found at datingcoachonwheels.com or on Instagram at datingcoachonwheels.  

DISIRabiltyALT can also be found on Apple podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify or Stitcher.

Episode Cover Description [DISIRability logo in green with a wheelchair symbol in place of the letter b. “ALT” written in black underneath. In a dark green background, there is the following text in white letters “A Chat with Amin Lakhani, (He/Him), Comedian and Disabled Anti-Hero. 18+”. On the right, there is a photo of Amin, a man in a power wheelchair and green in shirt in front of French chateau with green shutters.]


©DISIRability, Angela Car 2020