Episode 21: Disabled Threesomes and Moresomes

Episode Cover Description [DISIRability logo in green with a wheelchair symbol in place of the letter b. “ALT” written in black underneath. In a black background, there is the following text “Disabled Threesomes and Moresomes with angela car (she/her) 18+”. On the right, there is a stock photo of a hotel room with a large bed and a couch]

Episode 21 is all about Disabled Threesomes and Moresomes. I hear a lot of people saying that they want to have a threesome. This is more in the vanilla world, than in the kink world, but I hear a lot of folks saying “I wanna have a threesome” or “My partner wants to have a threesome and I’m not so sure.” So, this episode is for folks who are considering a threesome, or are curious about it and want to know how to have a safe, consensual, positive and sexy experience.

I personally have had some amazing experiences and some not so good experiences. I’m not an expert on it, but I thought I’d share my personal perspective on it, and just give you some things that I’ve learned over the years when it comes to threesomes and moresomes.

Full transcript of this episode can be found in the show notes.

DISIRabilityALT Episode 21

©DISIRability, Angela Car 2021

“As a Service to Me, They Become My Ears.” A Chat with Master Don (Dai Bando) He/him.

In Episode 20 of DISIRabilityALT, I have the opportunity to interview Master Don. Master Don, also known as Dai Bando, is a Dominant in the Philadelphia area, the Head of Household of the House of Dai Bando, as well as an active member of the Lifestyle Community, He is a graduate of MTTA, Masters Academy, academy class XXI from 2013, the Foundations in Mastery program and has attended the esteemed Master/slave Development Center. Master Don holds membership in many Lifestyle-related associations and groups throughout the Philadelphia/central New Jersey area such as MAsT: Philadelphia, MAsT: Cherry Hill, Bucks County Power Exchange and the Gate munch and is a former member of the Executive Board of the Master-Dominant Consortium.

In this episode, we talk about being in a power exchange dynamic with a disability, specifically with hearing loss. We talk about BDSM negotiations. We talk about tradition in M/s circles and how we fit in, or how we make the lifestyle work for us.

Content warning: Master Don uses the term “handicapped” to refer to himself and uses it in general terms. We will have a discuss on language and the use of the term handicapped towards the end of the episode.

Episode Cover Description [DISIRability logo in green with a wheelchair symbol in place of the letter b. “ALT” written in black underneath. In a black background, there is the following text in white” Episode 20”, in grey text “As a Service to Me, They Become My Ears. A Chat with Master Don, Dai Bando” and in white text “with Angela Car (she/her) 18+). On the right, there is an emblem, which Master Don chose to share that includes an outer circle of white tiles on a black background, with red lines bordering it on the inside and outside, following by a second circle with a red background with white roots, following by a third inner circle, again of the white tiles in background, bordered by two thin white circles. The center is a black background with an eagle in the center surrounded by a wreath of Holly clutching a plague with the letters SPQR that has crossed lightning bolts behind it. SPQR stands for Senatus Populusque Romanus (the Senate and the Roman people).]

Full transcript of this episode is available. Listen or read this episode here:

https://5e08c2debf9443-05674491.castos.com/player/360521

©DISIRability, Angela Car 2021

Surviving the Neurotypical Munch

In Episode 19 of DISIRabilityALT, I wanted to talk about Surviving a Neurotypical Munch. I got the idea for this because I always had a hard time with social skills. I am learning more as an adult about neurodivergence and understanding why I have some learning, social and communication difficulties. I’m going to spend some time talking in this episode about Spina Bifida and Neurodivergence, and then I’m going to move into talking about conversation skills. I will discuss a book that gives really good advice on communication and could even be helpful when you find yourself at a neurotypical munch.

Episode Cover Description [DISIRability logo in green with a wheelchair symbol in place of the letter b. “ALT” written in black underneath. In a red background, there is the following text ”Surviving the Neurotypical Munch”, with Angela Car (she/her) 18+). On the right, there is a stock photo of a person’s hand using a piece of chalk to draw stick figures of people with lines connecting them in a diagram on a chalk board]

Full transcript of this episode can be found in the show notes. To listen/read this episode go to:

https://disirabilityalt.castos.com/episodes/surviving-the-neurotypical-munch

©DISIRability, Angela Car 2021

Twelve-Step Submission

In Episode 18 of DISIRabilityALT, we are talking about Twelve-step recovery and submission in a power exchange dynamic. Over the years, I’ve come to realize that these two separate worlds of mine, 12 step programs and M/s were really not all that different. They both have helped me to become a better person. They both helped me to become, not necessarily religious but spiritual. They both teach me about humility, obedience and service. They both teach me about power and powerlessness. My Higher Power that I chose today, is a nurturing, Loving God, not a punishing, judgement God. My Sir is a loving, nurturing Master. As I humble myself in service, to my Higher Power, and to my Sir, my anxiety and fears are removed on a daily basis.

Episode Cover Description [DISIRability logo in green with a wheelchair symbol in place of the letter b. “ALT” written in black underneath. In a yellow background, there is the following text ”12-Step Submission, with Angela Car (she/her) 18+). On the right, there is a stock photo of a staircase with yellow steps and wooden railing.]

Full Transcript of the Show is available. To listen/read transcript, go to:

https://disirabilityalt.castos.com/episodes/episode-18-twelve-step-submission

Don’t forget to subscribe on Apple, itunes, Google, Spotify or Stitcher. Please leave a rating and review of the show to help others find it.

©DISIRability, Angela Car 2020

D/s, Holiday Blues and a Pandemic

On today’s episode of DISIRabilityALT, I thought we’d talk about our power-exchange relationships, getting through 2020 and getting through the holiday season especially if you have experienced depression or grief during this time of year. I also wanted to talk about how we are all struggling with social distancing now as we’re coming into the holidays in 2020 with the pandemic. We will talk about the importance of maintaining your D/s dynamic at this time and how to do so. 

Episode Cover Description [DISIRability logo in green with a wheelchair symbol in place of the letter b. “ALT” written in black underneath. In a red background, there is the following text ”D/s, Holiday Blues and a Pandemic, with Angela Car (she/her) 18+). On the right, there is a stock photo of a snowman with a sad face.]

Full transcript of this episode can be found on the podcast link. Visit DISIRabilityALT Episode 17.

©DISIRability, Angela Car 2020

Happy International Day of People with Disabilities!

On this International Day of People with Disabilities #IDPWD2020, I am grateful for my new found freedom with my power wheelchair. It has been interesting becoming a part-time wheelchair user. Reactions from others have been both positive and negative. For people who don’t know me well, they become concerned when they see me rolling by, “Oh, what happened? Oh, what a shame!” They feel sorry for me or they feel like I am “giving up” on walking. Strangers who don’t know me are confused when they see me step out of the wheelchair and pick up my crutches.

Those who know me well know what a joy this chair brings to me! My next door neighbor was super excited for me as she has seen my daily struggle with walking. I have gradually been slowing down in my walking. I can’t stand for more than five minutes at a time. I still walk around my house but now I don’t have to outdoors. I have pain in my left knee from walking, and now pain in my left shoulder from using my crutches for so many years. To me, my chair means less painful days ahead.

My power chair also means freedom. It is a joy today when I can stroll around my neighborhood and enjoy some fresh air without having to fear falling down, or fear being in pain and not being able to get back home. It is a joy to stop and chat with a neighbor (socially distanced) and stay there as long as I want to, because I am not experiencing the pain I would from standing. I even got to surprise my mom by rolling over to her house (a couple blocks away) and surprising her with my new chair. My chair also allows me to spend the energy I have on physical therapy, and yoga rather than using all the energy I have in walking. I will be so excited once the world opens up fully again and I will be able to enjoy going to a mall, or an in-person conference again. Whenever that happens, I will be ready!

A Chat with Pup Star Orion

In episode 16 of DISIRabilityALT, I have the opportunity to interview Pup Star Orion.

Pup Star Orion (he/his/him) is queer trans genderfluid disabled switch and leather bull terrier puppy. Originally born in Santa Ana, El Salvador, Orion was raised in East Hollywood. 

He is the Social Outreach Coordinator for Obsidian LA, a qtbipoc volunteer run kink and education group.

Orion is the LA Pup 2020-21, happily living as an ambassador for not just human pets but trans and gender variant human pets as well. 

An educator, Orion teaches everything pet play, including dark pet play, and how intersectional identities affect pet spaces. He also teaches how to navigate sex and kink with disabled and chronically ill bodies through his lens as someone who lives with chronic pain. 

A well-known exhibitionist, when he isn’t volunteering, it’s common to find him under the boots of or attempting to take the fist of your local queer cutie. 

In today’s episode, Orion talks about his experiences as a QTBIPOC disabled pup, and what lead him to his identity as a puppy. He talks about accessibility in the scene for QTBIPOC and disabled folx. He’ll describe some heavy impact scenes he has enjoyed and also discusses the beauty and strength of kinky disabled folx. I cant wait for you to hear this episode.

PupStarOrion can be found on Facebook, Instagram, FetLife and PuppySpace @PupStarOrion. His twitter is NSFW. Follow him to find out about his class and new social/support group called “Chronically Kinky”.

If you are QTBIPOC, follow Obsidian_LA on social media or visit their website Obsidian-LA.com

Episode Cover Description [DISIRability logo in green with a wheelchair symbol in place of the letter b. “ALT” written in black underneath. In a red background, there is the following text ”A Chat with PupStarOrion,(he/him/his) a disabled QTBIPOC and LA Pup 2020-21, with Angela Car (she/her) 18+). On the right, there is a photo of PupStarOrion in a leather harness with a red bandana and his collar around his neck, holding his pup mask.]

Full transcript of this episode is also available.

https://disirabilityalt.castos.com/episodes/a-chat-with-pup-star-orion-a-disabled-qtbipoc-and-pup-la-2020-21

©DISIRability, Angela Car 2020

I am Thankful Today and Everyday!

2020 has been quite a year, but I still have many things to be grateful for. I share my list below. Happy Thanksgiving everyone! What are you thankful for today?

  1. My Health
  2. My Partner/Sir who loves me, protects me and brings humor to my life.
  3. My cats who make me smile every day.
  4. Friends who are my chosen family including those we have spent socially distanced picnics with this year.
  5. Technology to stay connected. We are having Thanksgiving virtually today with our families.
  6. The opportunity to cook my first Thanksgiving Day Turkey today.
  7. My 12-step programs which bring me healthier coping mechanisms and help me stay focused on today.
  8. I got a power wheelchair so I can have less pain from walking and more freedom.
  9. My growing relationship with my little brother in our adult lives.
  10. The ability to do create content from home and do something I am passionate about.
  11. A comfortable home to quarantine in.
  12. All of you who have followed and supported my goals!

Communication Do’s and Don’ts

In Episode 15 of DISIRabilityALT, I thought we could talk about some Communication Do’s and Don’ts when it comes to alternative lifestyles. We are going to talk about Do’s and Don’t’s from the beginning of messaging someone on social media, to negotiating a BDSM scene, to entering a D/s relationship and lastly how to handle a D/s breakup. The question I ask you this week is “What communication Do’s and Don’ts would you recommend? What did I leave out?” Please share your thoughts with me. Feel free to comment on this post.

Episode Cover Description [DISIRability logo in green with a wheelchair symbol in place of the letter b. “ALT” written in black underneath. In a light brown background, there is the following text “Episode 15 Communication Do’s and Don’ts” Underneath is a photo of a Do and Don’ts checklist with lightbulbs surrounding it. The text “with angela car (she/her) 18+ is on the left]

Full transcript of this episode is also available.


©DISIRability, Angela Car 2020